How to become a good father

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It was my lunch break, and that day, I was sitting alone at a table in the restaurant. While waiting for the waiter to bring my meal, I observed the people around me.

Soon, my attention was drawn to a family sitting right next to me, who were already having dessert: the father, a young executive in a suit and tie, sat across from his wife and son, a boy who appeared to be about eight years old. With them was also a nanny.

The child was restless and irritable. He complained about everything and spoke loudly. The mother, visibly embarrassed, showed no authority. The nanny seemed unsure of how to act. And the father, in turn, watched the scene in silence, drumming his fingers on the table. It was easy to deduce that he was eager to leave as soon as possible.

At that time, I was already married but had not yet experienced fatherhood. My first daughter would only be born a few years later. Even so, I could sense that there was something wrong with that family dynamic.

Suddenly, to my surprise, the waiter brought out a small cake with a lit candle. It was the boy’s birthday, yet he barely smiled as his parents and the nanny started singing “Happy Birthday.” Shortly after, the father stood up hurriedly, handed his son a small gift, and said he didn’t have time—he needed to get back to the office.

And then he left.

I thought to myself: What would it be like when I took on the role of a father? Would I be so impatient that I would trade affection for a wrapped present for my child?

The truth is that fatherhood is one of the most transformative experiences in a man’s life. From the moment one learns that a child is on the way, an intense mix of emotions is born: joy, fear, anticipation, and responsibility. It’s when we ask ourselves: how to be a good father? After all, children don’t come with an instruction manual. But it is also the moment when we realize that the stability of our own lives no longer depends solely on ourselves. It is impossible to chart a map that will systematically guide our children to the treasure of happiness. Every child is unique, and their subjectivity will create unpredictable situations beyond our control.

Surely, being a father is much more than just providing financial support. It is balancing discipline with affection. It means limits and rules, but with respect and empathy. Above all, it is about being present. Whether you are authoritarian and reserved or communicative and liberal, I believe all of that becomes irrelevant as long as you are truly there.

I once heard of a father who was professionally very successful. After breakfast, he would leave for work in his Porsche every morning while his driver took his son to school. Later, the same driver would pick the boy up. It was the driver who took him to soccer practice. On game days, it was the driver who stood by the field, cheering for his boss’s son. When the boy scored a goal, it was the driver who celebrated, and it was to him that the boy ran to give a hug. That driver was his friend. He was the person the boy could count on.

At night, during dinner, the father, irritated, wondered why his son spoke so much and so fondly of the driver. It was as if the boy didn’t even realize that he was the father. After all, who was putting food on the table and filling the room with toys?

That father perhaps never realized that his son didn’t want presents. He just wanted his presence.

Never be indifferent to your child. That will surely be a wound they carry forever. And yes, I know—having children requires a lot of sacrifice. We are constantly tested in patience, resilience, and adaptability. But never allow a child to feel like a burden to you, as if they are disrupting your daily life.

The journey of fatherhood is not linear. Every stage of a child’s life demands different forms of care and involvement from the father.

In childhood, being a good father means providing a safe environment, teaching values, and encouraging the child’s natural curiosity. Telling bedtime stories, participating in playtime, and leading by example are actions that define this phase.

Adolescence brings new challenges. The child begins to seek independence, and the father’s role shifts to that of a guide and counselor. Here, it is essential to maintain open dialogue without judgment so the child feels safe to share their doubts and struggles.

In adulthood, the father’s role transforms once again. It means respecting the child’s choices, continuing to be a safe harbor, and maintaining a bond that transcends time and distance. And perhaps this is the decisive moment that tests all our efforts as fathers: Your child will never be your “improved version.” They are unique individuals with their own desires, doubts, and paths. The father who understands this educates without imprisoning, guides without imposing, and loves without conditions.

I believe that being a good father is not about shaping a child into your image but rather giving them the foundation to become who they want to be—without ever losing the emotional connection that binds you together.

At some point, your child will have the right to distance themselves from you in order to grow. The greatest generosity of parenthood (both fatherhood and motherhood) is raising birds that will one day fly away from the nest to explore the world. As a father, preventing them from doing so would be a mistake. It would diminish us as human beings.

In short, successful fatherhood is not measured only by the visible results in a child’s life but by a father’s continuous effort to be present, to be a role model, and to be an example. More than just providing material comfort, true paternal success lies in the ability to raise autonomous, ethical, and emotionally balanced individuals.

Raising a child is an act of selfless giving with no guarantees—a long-term investment whose rewards are not always reaped by those who plant the seeds. However, when a father sees his child acting with integrity even without supervision, facing challenges with resilience, and building their own path without having to reject their roots—that is the silent seal of a mission accomplished.

And finally, fatherhood is truly honored when it continues through generations. If a child, upon becoming a parent, chooses to repeat the values of presence, listening, and care that they received, then we have built a legacy.

Because the true victory of fatherhood is not simply raising children who admire their fathers—it is raising people who will one day be admired by their own children. I believe that in this cycle of love, learning, and passing down values, fatherhood reaches its highest fulfillment.

Building Brands Like Roman Roads

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If you work in design, branding, or any form of creative endeavor, you’ve probably questioned the relevance of your work at some point. At certain moments in our careers, we all wonder about the true impact of what we do.

While reflecting on this, I came across an analysis by the renowned American designer Philip VanDusen, who compared designers to the engineers of Ancient Rome who built roads. These were people who didn’t just create something beautiful—they built structures meant to last for centuries.

In fact, many Roman roads remain in use today, nearly two thousand years after they were first constructed. How is that possible?

The answer lies in how they were built. The Romans followed a structured method, layering different materials: sand, gravel, smaller stones, larger stones, and finally, paving blocks. The result? Incredibly durable infrastructure, capable of withstanding not only the heavy traffic of their time but also the passage of centuries.

Now, if we applied this same mindset to design and branding, wouldn’t we be creating something far more enduring and meaningful?

The Layers: Design as a Road to the Future

Building a strong and impactful brand isn’t just about aesthetics. Just as a Roman road wouldn’t survive without its multiple layers, a brand must be built on a solid foundation.

The Sand: Purpose and Core Values

Before anything else, we need to understand the essence of a brand. What is its mission? What are the values that sustain it? Just as sand serves as the base for Roman roads, values are the foundation upon which everything else is built. Without a solid foundation, the entire structure may crumble over time.  

The Gravel: Market Research

A Roman road was never built without careful planning. Similarly, strong branding requires research. Who is the target audience? What are their needs and aspirations? How is the competition positioned? Gravel stabilizes the sand, ensuring the road remains firm—just as research gives branding the right direction to reach the right audience.  

The Smaller Stones: Positioning and Messaging

The next step is to define how the brand will be perceived. What is its tone of voice? What are the key messages it needs to convey? Here, the identity begins to take shape, ensuring that everything that follows has a clear and cohesive purpose.  

The Larger Stones: Visual Identity and Brand Elements

Now, we reach what is often seen as the “final product”: logos, color palettes, typography, and visual elements. However, without the previous layers, these visuals would be nothing more than decoration without meaning. When built on a strong foundation, these elements reinforce the brand’s strategy, making it recognizable and memorable. 

The Paving Blocks: User Experience and Consistency

Finally, the finishing touch: how the brand communicates across all touchpoints. Social media, websites, marketing materials, customer service—everything must be aligned. Just as the paving stones of Roman roads provided a smooth and predictable journey, a well-designed brand experience ensures that the audience feels secure and confident when interacting with it.  

Building for Eternity 

Branding and design aren’t just about creating something beautiful for the moment. They’re about building something that endures. A well-structured brand can span generations, reinvent itself without losing its essence, and remain relevant even as the market evolves.  

Think of iconic brands like Apple, Coca-Cola, and Nike. They were all built on solid layers, which is why they have remained relevant for decades. They are not fleeting trends but carefully designed structures—just like Roman roads.   

Ultimately VanDusen is correct in saying that we as designers or creative professionals are not just moving cursors across a screen and clicking a mouse. We’re building pathways that can lead businesses to success—pathways that, with the right approach, can last for generations.  

Maybe something we create today will still be remembered two thousand years from now. Alea jacta est! 

A new beginning

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I was never an illustrator, but during my time as an Industrial Design student, there was an artistic drawing course, and the teacher was a Japanese man who had been living in Brazil for several years. He was one of those guys who economized on words and laughter. But he easily spent his talent in the way he taught.

The students would adjust the paper on the easel and begin sketching with charcoal and chalk some object displayed in the room.

Once, when I finished a drawing, he examined it seriously, and after a while, nodded his head: “Good.” Another eternal Oriental pause that lasted a few seconds, and then he said: “Do another one.”

What do you mean? Hours of giving my best at the easel, only to have to start all over again from scratch?

I looked at the Japanese guy with a grumpy face. But I thought he might be some kind of Mr. Miyagi, so I let it go.

Years later, working with infographics at a newspaper’s newsroom, I had a colleague who had an amazing drawing style, with an innate ability that he could use both for cartoons and for elaborate illustrations.

He would make a work of art with an idea in his head and a mouse in his hand. His problem was that, most of the time, after hours of drawing, he would forget to save his work. And that’s when his computer, out of breath, would decide to crash—and he would lose everything.

In desperation and racing against the clock, he would redo everything. But this time, much faster.

What connects these two stories is that, inevitably, the resulting drawings would end up surprisingly better. More interesting than the versions that had been overly worked on before.

Why? Because we end up getting attached to a single idea and blocking out alternatives. And somehow, we don’t erase the previous image. It stays there, visually etched in our memory.

In our professional daily life, it’s also like that: we can start, develop, and present a project, only for it to be discarded. That’s when it’s time to activate visual memory, keep the basics, eliminate the excess, and refine the essentials. And create an even better version.

 

How to lose weight when you have a sedentary job

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How to lose weight when you work in an office? It may seem like an uphill battle. Everyone tells me that I am a naturally blessed guy: I can eat anything and not gain weight. I sit in front of my computer for hours and my figure remains like Shaggy Rogers from Scooby Doo. But for many people, the reality is not quite the same. Long hours spent sitting, combined with limited physical activity, often lead to weight gain and decreased energy levels.

However, it is entirely possible to lose weight and stay healthy even if your job requires you to sit most of the day. By adopting intentional habits, you can overcome the challenges of a sedentary lifestyle. Let’s explore practical strategies to help you achieve your weight-loss goals while thriving at your desk job.

Understanding the Challenges of a Sedentary Job. According to doctors, modern office work often involves prolonged sitting, which can slow your metabolism, decrease calorie burn, and lead to muscle imbalances. Common challenges include:

Low Activity Levels: Sitting for extended periods reduces opportunities to burn calories.

Mindless Eating: Office snacks and stress-induced eating contribute to excess calorie intake.

Poor Posture: Slouching can weaken core muscles and hinder physical performance.

Time Constraints: Busy schedules make prioritizing exercise and meal preparation difficult.

Acknowledging these challenges is the first step to overcoming them.

Incorporate Movement into Your Day. Even with a desk job, you can find creative ways to stay active:

Take Micro-Breaks: Stand, stretch, or walk for a few minutes every hour. Set an alarm to remind. For example, I use the Pomodoro technique, which sets up blocks of time with 25 minutes of work and a short five-minute break.

Use the Stairs: My office is on the third floor, and I opt for the stairs instead of the elevator. Why not do the same whenever possible?

Desk Exercises: Try seated leg raises and shoulder rolls. I also like to do chair sit-ups: For a minute or two, with your hands resting behind your head, lean your torso forward while lifting your knees alternately. It’s simple and painless, but consistency is key.

Walking Meetings: Suggest walking meetings for brainstorming sessions or casual discussions. It also works if you are a solo entrepreneur, where you get together with yourself, letting ideas flow during a walk in the fresh air.

Optimize Your Diet. Weight loss is largely influenced by diet. Adopt these tips to manage your calorie intake:

Meal Prep: Prepare healthy meals in advance to avoid relying on fast food or vending machine snacks.

Mindful Eating: Eat slowly, savor your food, and avoid distractions like smartphones while you eat. I’ve learned not to be a hostage to the WhatsApp notifications. If it rings while I’m eating, I ignore it. The message can wait.

Healthy Snacks: Stock up on nutritious options like nuts, yogurt, and fresh fruits. These are particularly important to me, as I come from a tropical country, meaning we love fruits.

Hydration: Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Sometimes, thirst is mistaken for hunger.

Portion Control: Use smaller plates when eating. If humans are a product of their environment, so is your food. Be mindful of portion sizes, and don’t eat with your eyes.

Prioritize Regular Exercise. A sedentary job doesn’t mean you can’t exercise. Schedule workouts to boost your metabolism and build strength:

Morning or Evening Workouts: Dedicate 20-30 minutes to jogging, cycling, or strength training activities. If you ask me if I like it, I’ll say no. It’s like taking bitter medicine. Just hold your nose and do what needs to be done.

Home Workouts: Follow online fitness videos if you’re short on time or prefer staying home

Weekend Activities: Use weekends to engage in longer workouts or outdoor activities.

Strength Training: Focus on building muscle, which helps burn calories even at rest.

Leverage Technology. Modern tools can support your weight-loss journey:

Fitness Trackers: Use devices to monitor steps, calories burned, and activity levels.

Apps: Explore nutrition and workout apps to track progress and stay motivated.

Standing Desks: Invest in a standing desk or an adjustable desk converter to alternate between sitting and standing.

Manage Stress and Sleep. Stress and inadequate sleep can derail your weight-loss efforts by affecting hormones that regulate hunger and metabolism:

Stress Management: Practice mindfulness, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises to manage stress.

Sleep Hygiene: Aim for at least seven hours of quality sleep each night. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule and create a restful environment.

Other Tips

Avoid snacking mindlessly: Keep unhealthy snacks out of reach and replace them with pre-portioned healthy options. Drinking water and chewing gum can also curb cravings.

Short bursts of exercise can make a difference: Even 10-minute physical activity sessions, such as brisk walking or stretching, can boost your overall calorie burn and improve your health. Additionally, as a designer, they also help stimulate my creativity.

No time to cook? Focus on simple, nutritious meals with minimal preparation, like salads, wraps, or smoothies. Meal delivery services offering healthy options can also be helpful.

Ultimately, losing weight with a sedentary job is far from impossible, but achievable with the right strategies. You can create a sustainable lifestyle that supports weight loss by integrating more movement into your day, making healthier food choices, prioritizing exercise, leveraging technology, and managing stress and sleep. Remember: small, consistent changes often lead to the best results. Start today, and enjoy the benefits of a healthier, more energetic you.



Win Over Your Client by Reversing Their Image

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In the 1970s, three researchers conducted a fascinating study on how familiarity influences our preferences. Published in a scientific journal, their work revealed an essential truth about human nature: we are drawn to what feels familiar. To demonstrate this, they devised an experiment with a simple yet profound design.

The researchers gathered a group of women and asked them to compare two versions of the same photograph: one that showed the subject as they appeared in reality and another that presented a mirrored version of the same image.

Back then, they used photo negatives—a now-obsolete medium—but the principle remains relevant today. Since you may have never seen a film negative, let me update this example to modern terms. Imagine taking an old photo of yourself, scanning it, and printing two versions: one in its original form and the other flipped horizontally.

Now, picture this scenario. You’re asked to choose which version you find more appealing. Simultaneously, someone else evaluates the same two versions and picks their favorite. What happens? You’ll likely prefer the mirrored version, the one that matches what you see every day in the mirror. Meanwhile, the other person, accustomed to seeing your face as it naturally appears, will prefer the unaltered version.

Why Familiarity Matters
This phenomenon occurs because our preferences are deeply tied to familiarity. Your friend gravitates toward the version of you that they’ve seen countless times in the real world. You, however, are most familiar with your reflection, as mirrors dominate your personal experience of your face.

This subtle yet powerful bias demonstrates how deeply ingrained familiarity is in our psyche. It’s not just about faces—it’s about everything we encounter, from the brands we trust to the designs we find appealing. We are wired to feel comforted and reassured by what we already know.

Design, at its core, is about communication. It’s about conveying ideas, emotions, and solutions in a way that resonates with your audience. But here’s the catch: when creating something new for a client, you’re effectively showing them a “reversed photo” of themselves. They’re not yet familiar with your vision or how it reflects their identity, needs, or values.

This disconnect can lead to challenges. As designers, marketers, or creators, we often fall in love with our ideas. We imagine clients seeing the brilliance of our work immediately. Yet, when they don’t respond as expected, it’s easy to feel frustrated or discouraged. The truth is, their hesitation isn’t a rejection of your skills—it’s a natural reaction to the unfamiliar.

How to Align Your Vision with Theirs
To win over a client, you need to bridge the gap between their current perspective and the new ideas you’re introducing. Here are some strategies to foster that connection:

Start with Empathy. Before diving into solutions, take time to understand your client’s world. What are their priorities, challenges, and aspirations? Familiarize yourself with their brand, audience, and personal preferences. The more you understand their perspective, the better you can align your designs with what feels “right” to them.

Involve Them Early. Don’t wait until the final presentation to unveil your ideas. Share sketches, mood boards, or prototypes early in the process. This allows clients to see how their input shapes the project, fostering a sense of ownership and familiarity with the evolving design.

Tell the Story Behind Your Design. Help clients understand the rationale behind your choices. Explain how each element connects to their goals, values, or audience. When they see the thoughtfulness behind your work, they’re more likely to embrace it.

Incorporate Familiar Elements. While innovation is crucial, anchoring new ideas in familiar elements can ease the transition. For example, use colors, shapes, or fonts that reflect their existing brand identity while introducing fresh twists.

Be Patient and Open to Feedback. Reactions to unfamiliar designs aren’t final judgments—they’re opportunities for dialogue. Listen to your client’s concerns without defensiveness and be willing to adapt. Often, these conversations lead to stronger, more aligned solutions.

The Science of Familiarity in Consumer Behavior
The concept of familiarity extends beyond client relationships. In consumer psychology, it’s known as the mere-exposure effect—the idea that people tend to develop a preference for things simply because they’re exposed to them repeatedly. This principle is why successful brands invest heavily in consistent messaging, visual identity, and advertising. Familiarity breeds trust, which ultimately drives loyalty.

As a designer or creator, you can leverage this insight by ensuring that your work resonates not just with your client but also with their audience. Think about the emotions and associations your design evokes. Does it feel approachable, trustworthy, or aspirational? These elements contribute to a sense of familiarity and connection.

When Familiarity Meets Innovation
While familiarity is essential, it’s not the whole story. Innovation—offering something new and exciting—is equally important. The challenge lies in balancing the two. Too much familiarity can feel boring; too much innovation can feel alienating.

The sweet spot is familiar novelty—designs that feel fresh yet grounded. Consider how successful brands introduce change. When Apple redesigns its iPhone, the updates are incremental, ensuring the product remains instantly recognizable. This balance allows them to push boundaries without alienating their loyal customers.

A Lesson for Creators: Design for the Consumer
Ultimately, the key takeaway is this: design isn’t about the creator’s preferences—it’s about the consumer’s experience. Whether you’re crafting a logo, developing a product, or curating a marketing campaign, the goal is to evoke a sense of connection and recognition. When people see themselves—whether literally or metaphorically—in your work, they’re more likely to embrace it.

So, the next time you present an idea to a client, remember the reversed photo experiment. Their initial reaction might reflect unfamiliarity, not dissatisfaction. By understanding their perspective, involving them in the process, and finding ways to connect your vision to their identity, you can create something they’ll not only accept but truly cherish.

Ultimately, the cost of acquiring a customer can be lower than the cost of buying a mirror.